Love, Friendship, & everything else in between!

I have two opening notes before unveiling a great blog.
    1. The pseudonyms I use are all hand picked by the character themselves. I think it has become a competition of wit and sarcasm amongst those close to me.
    2. A wise woman once said! "Do not open your mouth unless you intend on improving the silence.".

         Love isn't something you can earn or demand from anyone. Love is something to be given. True love in any category of relationship is not to be given with expectations. Love should not be something you expect a reward for, but something given because of the shear happiness that fills your soul. I love my readers, fans, family, and those select besties who have been there for me through the hard times as well as the fortunate ones. These people who are truly reliable are few and far in between. More often than not, I invest time, money, & energy into someone without any reciprocated respect. These people use me til I run myself into the ground, then abandon me. Life is a sequence of triumphs and lessons. This will not happen again. 
        I decided to edit out my reflections about "Ryder" while I was worried about his safety I over thought old memories. As we all know, sometimes we have to keep our emotions in check. I realize that my tone regarding "Ryder" may have been confusing for some. While I was worried for my friend, I am in no way still in love with him. News was delivered a few days ago via a mutual friend that "Ryder" is safe & yet I still can't sleep at night. These past few days I've had access to a bed and two comfortable couches, yet my nights are spent taking short cat naps followed by lots of tossing and turning waiting for an appropriate time to get up and start the day.
         My days have been spent with friends and family. Spending time with "Baby-doll", "Yee-haw", & their kids meant the world to me. I had not seen my dear friends since "Tattoo-ie" and I stayed a few nights with them. They were the few people who saw the abuse first hand. I wish I could have stayed with the original plan of leaving "Tattoo-ie" when "Baby-doll" first brought it to my attention back then which was in turn brought up by "Yee-haw". I have been wanting to get a new tattoo to help remind me of this landmark in my life. This couple is trying to get me a good deal with one of their friends. I am very grateful for the possible barter situation.
         Another wonderful friend surprise visit made my soul sing. My dearest favorite friend "FLACO YOU" gave me several minutes of his valuable time. While I love any face to face time I can get with him, I had not laid eyes on him in five months. He did not disappoint. Our lives may be crazy, but "FLAC YOU" has been one of the few reliable men in my life. We spent our valuable time discussing promoting & marketing ideas for both our careers, passions, & hobbies. Our friendship has taken its twists and turns causing a labyrinth of chemistry for which even we get lost. While our physical visits can be counted in hours, our friendship and loyalty has no measurement. My friend has the most brutally gorgeous soul, my rose amongst the thorns. He was the one whose reaction, regarding my HIV+ status, I was the most concerned. Him not knowing was a main reason why I procrastinated my blogging. When you care for someone, you want them to keep a positive opinion of you. Telling "FLAC YOU" about me being HIV+ was the last step of faith I had to take before allowing myself to become a public HIV figure. Now, I am free of the chains, & my dear friend has not left my side! Not losing him to the stigma of HIV gives me hope and faith in my mission. Then again "FLAC YOU" has always been a huge source of motivation, not only in writing, but in life too.