The SECRET is OUT!

Introductions first. I am Lynz McClane better known as "Z" or "Sweet Z™". From here on out, mine is the only name true. I started my career in life as a Registered Veterinary Technician. However, I have started a new path in life. I am a professional plus size model, shoot director, make-up& hair artist, actress, vocalist, mentor, educational & motivational speaker, & obviously. . . a writer.

On December 1st 2010, everything I believed in was shaken to the core of my soul. I was told that the tests I had requested had come back. They arrived while I was laying down in a dark room at county emergency room. "Caliopy" was trying to rest on three plastic chairs delicately arranged. I was suffering from a migraine so bad that all I could hear or see was the pulse throughout my body. The private room was decorated with an Aladdin theme. Facing the wall, I remember taking the tip of my finger and tracing Jasmine's hair and all of Raja's stripes. (This was after some Demerol of course) My ER doctor "Stacy" walked in asking for some time alone. She tries to finesse the moment, but when my stone cold Italian face hit, she proceeded to tell me I am HIV+.
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After taking a moment to collect myself after the shock of this,  I asked for more details. ALL of my preconceived notions about HIV & AIDS were wrong. It is NOT a death sentence. It is NOT AIDS. It does NOT mean that I cannot have a normal healthy life. It does NOT mean I will never be able to carry & give birth to a child of my own. It is NOT only gay men or IV drug users that contract it. For me, it was a much more heartbreaking story, and at later date I will SQUASH YOUR ideas about the Human immunodeficiency virus
My story is newer than you may think. During the summer of 2010 my (now ex-fiance) "JayJay" and I decided to try & get pregnant. "JayJay" said he'd been tested for all STDs and HIV and had come out clean. What is still unknown to many people is this was part of a silent pack. A friend of mine from high school became pregnant earlier with a "whoopsie" of a 2nd baby. Two other mutual friends of ours also decided to actively try for another baby. This would turn into the 5th baby for the 2nd woman & 2nd baby for the third woman. I would write my friends back home while I was in Oklahoma about pre-natal vitamins, cycles, and other general information. All three women ended up with healthy children and I got HIV. The bitterness from these moments were quickly after thoughts as each baby entered the world healthy as possible.
My life since discovering out my status has been a long debate of "need to know" versus "right to know". It was weeks before I told family, and some never at all. I don't tell many friends because the world still holds false assumptions about HIV. Instead of waiting for people to find out, I decided to take a stand and tell my story loud and true.

So continue reading my blogs to hear more stories and truths about my struggle that has been kept quiet over the past year!

I will continue these blogs with more about my story. Whether it is past or present. I will answer EVERY question thrown my way as long as it is done with respect and clear intentions.